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Writer's pictureKirk Carlson

Helping Children Adjust to a Parent’s Military Transition



Helping Children Adjust to a Parent’s Military Transition

A parent’s military transition, whether it involves deployment, relocation, or reintegration, can be a challenging time for families. Children, in particular, may struggle to understand and adapt to these changes. Supporting children during this period requires sensitivity, open communication, and thoughtful preparation. Here are strategies to help children cope with a parent’s military transition effectively.

1. Open Communication

Maintaining honest and age-appropriate communication is crucial. Children often sense changes, and avoiding discussions can lead to confusion and anxiety. Share the details of the transition in a way they can understand, addressing their concerns and emotions. Encourage them to ask questions and express feelings openly.

2. Establish Routines

Consistency is comforting to children. When a parent is away or the family relocates, maintaining daily routines can provide stability. Meal times, bedtime rituals, and weekend activities should remain as predictable as possible to create a sense of normalcy.

3. Prepare Them in Advance

Whether it’s a deployment or a move, preparing children in advance can reduce uncertainty. Show them maps, photos, or videos of new locations and explain what to expect. For deployments, create countdown calendars or plan activities to mark milestones until the parent’s return.

4. Encourage Emotional Expression

Children may experience a wide range of emotions, from sadness and anger to fear and confusion. Offer a safe space for them to talk, draw, or write about their feelings. Books and stories about military families can also help children relate to others in similar situations.

5. Foster Connections with Support Systems

Building strong connections with extended family, friends, and community groups can provide children with additional emotional support. Military family support groups and counseling services offer resources for parents and children navigating transitions.

6. Maintain Contact During Separation

If a parent is deployed, staying connected is vital. Letters, video calls, and emails help children maintain a bond with the absent parent. Recording bedtime stories or messages in advance can also offer comfort during times when direct communication isn’t possible.

7. Promote Resilience and Independence

Help children develop coping skills and resilience by involving them in decision-making and problem-solving activities. Praise their ability to adapt and handle changes, building confidence in their ability to face challenges.

8. Monitor Behavioral Changes

Transitions can lead to temporary behavioral changes, such as difficulty sleeping, irritability, or trouble concentrating. Pay attention to these signs and seek professional support if needed. School counselors and therapists familiar with military families can provide tailored assistance.

9. Celebrate Milestones and Achievements

Recognize and celebrate milestones, no matter how small, to keep spirits high. From completing a project at school to learning a new skill, acknowledging achievements reinforces positivity and stability.

10. Plan for Reintegration

When a parent returns home, the reintegration process can be just as challenging as the departure. Discuss expectations as a family and allow time for adjustments. Patience and understanding will ease the transition back to normal routines.

Final Thoughts

Helping children adjust to a parent’s military transition requires patience, communication, and proactive planning. By providing emotional support and practical tools, families can navigate these changes successfully, ensuring that children feel secure and connected throughout the process.

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